My headache and stiff neck were so bad that after spending 8.5 hours in bed, taking Motrin, Dilaudid, and Valium, I still left the hospital with a 5.
On top of all the other reasons why, I'm super extra mega tired, because last night I didn't sleep. At all.
Each time they change the dressing on my piccline IV, I have some supposedly unheard of reaction where I get a really bad stinging sensation, and they end up having to change the dressing again, sometimes twice. To be clear, the dressing change process itself is somewhat traumatic to start with, so having to do it twice or three times in a 24-hour period instead of once every seven days downright sucks.
Yesterday my dressing was changed, and last night the stinging kept me awake all night long. Even during the times I fell half-asleep from sheer exhaustion, I was still half-awake, dreaming about the pain.
Today I had to have one of the lines de-clotted (for the third time), which isn't fun, on top of having the dressing changed again. There were a few tears over the course of the day, and by a few, I mean a lot.
Let's just say this was one of the days I didn't decline the wheelchair ride downstairs to patient pickup.
Now I'm sitting at home, trying to keep my head up long enough to finish a grilled cheese sandwich, and trying to remember what it felt like to ever not be tired. I've got high hopes I'll be reminded within the next few weeks.
My blood counts dropped even more today, and it seems the concern among the doctors is growing. So, just one more thing to keep praying about!
I have six days left of infusions, which may not sound like much, but still feels like a whole, whole lot. Thanks to everyone for not forgetting about me. Your messages keep me going...
Love to all,
Molly