I was right in what I was expecting from my next doctor's visit. I know pretty much nothing new, and I have to go undergo lots of tests. "Lots and lots of tests." (Fun!)
The sheer volume of paperwork I was handed as I checked out, and the varying appointments the girls up front have to schedule, and the appointments I have to schedule, and the medication samples, and the headache calendar, and on and on made me somewhat dizzy.
Wait...should I put that on my headache calendar?
This is gonna be a chore.
The test I was most hoping the doctor would not order -- which, of course, he did — was a spinal tap. It seems to be more commonly referred to by the medical community — or at least the girls in my neurologist's office — as a lumbar puncture. (Gross.)
VOICE MAIL: "Hi Molly, I need to speak to you about your lumbar puncture."
The phrase makes me a little bit queasy every time I hear it. (And by "a little bit," I mean a lot bit.) Maybe I shouldn't have read up on what the process entails. Something about the terminology is unsettling — cerebrospinal fluid, and immunoglobulins, and long needles in my spinal cord and whatnot.
I prefer the term "spinal tap" anyway, because it makes me feel like I'll be entering the hospital to take part in some kind of cock rock mockumentary event of some sort with Kiss outfits, and air guitar, and rock hand signs and so on. Sounds way more fun than the long needle in the spinal cord bit. Maybe it's just me.
I did get to see moving images of my brain, which are strange to look at, and make me feel like an alien. I was expecting the "white matter" to look like tiny little speckles all over my brain. But instead, they look exactly like what they've been called — lesions. All different sizes and irregular shapes of lesions. All over my brain. It actually made me feel a little better to see it for myself.
I go in for my spinal tap (\m/) early Monday morning. Apparently I'm gonna have to lie very very VERY still in the fetal position for two to four hours after the procedure. Uh... I don't think I even did that in the womb.
My mom said, "that means no cell phone either."
This could be torture...
-Molly